plugs: The Veronicas ; Everything I'm Not #
And I can't measure up
But I'm not perfect
Just all messed up
I wish I could tell my mom this, she's always expecting me to be what she wants. And I'm just not her, in every sense of the word. Sure, I look almost identical to her (Yes, I'm fatter, bigger, whatever) but asides from the physical attributes, most else is quite opposite.
She's hardworking, I'm lazy.
She's smart, I'm stupid.
She's serious, I'm a joke.
She's perfect, and I'm NOT.
My mom is really honestly everything I'm not. I respect her, and love her a lot, for who she is. But why can't she do the same for me?! If I get the top marks for an assignment, she just says I can do better than that. If better is what you're always striving for, then you can never be the best, ie the best is yet to be. I don't see what the point in building up all this when it's all going to fall apart one day. On earth, we're all comparing grades (school), or salary (working adults). Okay, so maybe not all working adults compare salary, but they do compare wealth, by the type of car you drive, the size of your house, the amount you donate to charity, right down to even the clothes you wear.
What if there was something more than this? What would all these so-called "treasures" be worth then? Nothing, absolutely nothing.
It's confusing when God asks us to do our best in whatever we do, but do it for the glory of God. How does studying really hard to attain good grades, glorify Him? I don't see the link between the two. :/
Back to my mom. There's this really big gap between us, it's really a love-hate relationship with her. I can't hate her, simply because, she is my mom afterall. And it's not like she's evil, so there isn't any reason to hate her. But then again, the way she sees things is so different. I paste stickers on my nametag cos I think the stickers are cute. She interpretes it as me hating my name. If my mom ever reads this, I'm telling her, I love my name. And I don't doubt that one bit, even tho it's masculine and all that shit. I wish we'd just see things the same way. You like pretty things, and I prefer cool & grunge.
bye :/
16:01
Darmritpad ; Ashh
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